


the future past

by 4beit



Category: Terminator - All Media Types, Terminator: Dark Fate
Genre: F/F, Pre-Movie, to connect the dots between becoming an augment and arriving in 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 18:16:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21324538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4beit/pseuds/4beit
Summary: you can only imagine what it was like for her, stuck in that observation box watching you stumble and then lose consciousness. you can imagine her fear, her concern. dani works to conceal her emotions when playing the role of commander, but now, when it’s just you and her and nobody else,she lets those walls down.
Relationships: Grace/Dani Ramos
Comments: 22
Kudos: 274





	the future past

bursts of dust rise in your wake as with every footfall you’re carving a path through the rubble, making a beeline for the fallen commander. there’s a rush of chatter across the comms that becomes a dull roar as you careen around a corner, grabbing at the remnants of a concrete structure for stability and –

fuck.

oh, get fucked.

there is no time for stopping and processing, only coming to the realisation that death is barrelling towards you in the form of a rev nine. beyond the unmasked terminator, you see the commander, dani, in a heap. you see her helmet askew there’s blood seeping into the sand and dust. you see too, the splayed forms of jessup and pascoe, both with distorted limbs and blood pooling around their bodies. anger ignites deep in the pit of your stomach and you’re charging forward with abandon. one hand is slipping to holster on your belt and grabbing at the latest model of the localised electromagnetic pulse bomb you’ve been equipped with. you have only seconds left, and even as your forefinger curls around the trigger, you find a moment to hold your breath.

you hope this works.

if it doesn’t, you’re dead.

it’s that simple.

slamming the button down, you smash into the rev nine at the same time. while you were hoping for complete incapacitation of the rev nine, what you get instead is far from that. there’s the bone shuddering agony associated with tackling a terminator, and then the further pain that comes with one fighting back. it’s only through sheer speed and agility that you’re able to roll away and scramble to your feet. the pocket emp is a dud.

great.

awesome.

fuck.

you face off against the rev nine knowing that the best you can hope for now is a battle that lasts long enough for dani to be evacuated. the commander is more important, more vital to the resistance, than you. the terminator charges, the gun it was holding becoming a far deadlier point. it intends to gut you. the reality of your impending death is not a surprise, the terminators as a whole are a sadistic breed.

you, however, don’t intend to become another victim so soon.

not yet.

not when backup hasn’t arrived and dani is still in danger.

raising your firearm, you level it at the rev nine. you shoot once, twice, until you’ve emptied the whole clip. the terminator looks unphased, bringing an arm-come-blade swinging out from its body and only by all but falling backwards onto the ground do you avoid decapitation. the wind is knocked from your chest and you’re left gasping as the terminator turns its back on you.

dani.

fuck.

breathless, you scramble to your feet and charge. you run across the remnants of a road, the black tarmac covered in blood and dust and debris. you see the terminator raise its blade, ready to bury it in dani’s chest.

no.

not now. not today.

your only solution is to do something stupid. 

you launch yourself at the terminator, pulling out the emp and burying it in the back of the machine, aware that it was a dud, aware that this action will likely only buy you a few seconds. yet as you collide with organo-metal structure, something happens. silence descends inside your helmet and you feel a searing pain course through your body at the same time that the rev nine staggers backwards. you can see the source of the pain, the electricity sparking and flying from where you’ve slammed the emp into the rev nine. 

this wasn’t the reaction you expected,

not at all.

yet you can not deny that the terminator is suffering and dani is still alive and –

the terminator collapses. it collapses on top of you. at any second you expect pain, you expect death.

but no, nothing. nothing except the crushing weight of the machine atop your frame.

you’re panting, imagining every bench press you’ve ever done as you lift the machine up and off of you. slipping out from underneath it takes but a second or two and then you’re scrambling backwards, kicking out just in case it comes back to life, rising up like the nightmare it is. except even as you breathe for just a moment,

nothing happens.

the machine remains still.

your gaze drifts to dani.

you run to her, legs unsteady beneath you and waves of pain receding to the back of your mind. training kicks in as you all but collapse to your knees in the dirt beside you “commander!” you’re shouting, aware that you won’t be heard over the roar of combat anyway.

a finger slips to dani’s neck and you feel a pulse, you see the steady rise and fall of her chest.

fine. good. okay. she’s alive.

alive yet unconscious, unresponsive to voice or to pain.

your comms come alive with a burst of noise that makes you jump and you’re shouting into them

“wounded precious cargo. i repeat, wounded precious cargo.”

everyone will know what that means.

the cavalry will come.

you work on stabilizing dani, the commander. you tilt her head back so she doesn’t block off her own airway. you check for a pulse at her wrist, but through the thick of her uniform, it’s difficult. you’re more concerned with her head and with the bleeding, but you force yourself to focus, to concentrate. you don’t see anything that looks like broken bones, you can’t see any blood.

you move to dani’s head and place your hands over her ears, not to protect her hearing, but to keep her head still. another explosion could rock the ground beneath you at any given second. there could be damage to her head, to her spine, or anywhere else – there’s only so much a quick pat-down can sus out.

help is coming, you hear their approach being guided in. you hear the rest of your unit struggling to get to you, fending off the rest of the rev eight force that you were met with.

every few moments you look over at the terminator, expecting to see it rise, expecting to see it turn to face you.

it remains still.

you almost dare to hope that it’s dead, that you’ve killed it.

* * *

the relative silence of the dragonfly is suppressive.

you sit aware of the world sliding by, but with your gaze focused on dani. her head is wrapped with gauze and her face is obscured with an oxygen mask delivering high flow, pure oxygen to her. you watch the medics moving around her, pumping measured fluids into her body.

they’re fighting to keep her alive.

fuck.

you look away.

“this is dragonfly three, in coming to the south gate.” you hear trevor steele say, dani’s second in command “we have wounded precious cargo.”

three words you never wanted to hear, much less have to have said yourself. the adrenaline is wearing off as the transport races back to the compound. you can feel the ache where electricity was transferred through your body. you’re sure there are burns somewhere, maybe some blood.

it was a hell of a fight, even before the rev nine showed up.

around you, no one is talking. you may be in transport now, but the fifty meters between where it will land and the south gate itself will be a hunting ground. it has become their favourite place to wait and launch bloody attacks. maintaining the integrity of the south gate, or of any gate into the compound, is a priority.

more than one unit has faced slaughter when overwhelmed by the enemy.

you look back down at dani. she’s still unconscious and maybe that’s for the better, she would probably be trying to get off the stretcher she’s been lashed on to. in the same breath, she is eerily still, buried under equipment and gauze, but you can catch a glimpse of how pale she looks.

you hate it.

the dragonfly is descending to its landing position and you feel the tension rise as everyone prepares for an incoming attack. across the enclosed space, trevor looks over at you,

“get the commander inside!” he shouts.

you nod.

a part of you appreciates that as your cause because it’s where your priority would have lain anyway. most of the time you are able the maintain separation between dani, your partner and dani, commander of the resistance. now though? where she is unconscious and wounded? the line has blurred and your only goal is to get her inside and to safety,

at any cost.

the dragonfly touches down at the hatch drops down, allowing for your unit to exit. already you’re picking up the whines of incoming drone attacks. everyone can hear them, yet you all charge out of the dragonfly. as soon as your boots hit the dirt, there’s an explosion. one, and then another and the ground is shifting beneath your feet.

you can see terminators, not rev nines, thank fuck, but terminators still, emerging from the smoke.

fuck.

there’s three, four, five,

more than you can count.

you’re running for the south gate, hauling the stretcher behind you as if you’re some kind of abnormal sled dog. every step you take seems to double the length until the south gate and you’re whipping around as a terminator lands to your left. it fires and you drop the connecting rope to dani’s sled.

you shoot back, watching each shot hit its mark. yet, three shots do nothing to stop it in its tracks and the space between you is disappearing rapidly.

all around you there is explosions and screaming and dying. a part of you registers trevor on the ground, blood pouring from a wound on his arm. another registers the fact that this terminator still will not fucking go down.

shit.

an explosion rocks the ground the terminator is launched at you unexpectedly. before you can sidestep or shift, you feel the gasping pain of metal piercing your skin and burying itself deep in your chest. if you had the breath to curse, you would. instead though, you’re pinned to the ground with a terminator motionless on top of you.

was it killed by its own bomb?

you can only hope.

pain throbs in your chest and for long seconds you lay there. tears sting your eyes and you’re trying to take a breath, trying to focus on anything beyond the absolute agony you seem to have found yourself in.

you lay there, head tipping to the side and –

dani.

you see dani, still on the sled.

you have to get her inside.

bracing for the pain, you push the terminator off and away from you. the projectile that was buried in your chest emerges, covered in your own blood.

shit.

you stagger forwards, gritting your teeth and grabbing dani’s sled. every step takes a small age and you can feel the blood all but pour out of you now. it’s warm down your side, soaking into your clothes. you’re gasping for air, feeling like a fish out of water as the south gate approaches.

you keep pushing, keep pressing.

you collapse, the world fades.

* * *

you’re inside, more or less.

there’s a medic to your right and she’s apologising for something. you figure it’s the explosion of pain into your right side that she’s caused by stabbing you with, well, fucking something.

“the commander,” you gasp, unsure how you’re able to speak through the pain “help the commander.”

you feel cold, disconnected to your body.

“the commander is safe,” the medic replies “the commander is safe because of you.”

good. oh good.

thank fuck for that.

the pain is all-consuming now. even though you can breathe slightly easier there’s still pain with every inhalation, every exhalation too. you think you move your fingers, yet when you try and lift your arm,

nothing happens.

that doesn’t seem right.

are you dying? is this what dying feels like?

maybe.

a thought comes to your mind and you’re speaking before you have a chance to stop yourself

“i volunteer,” you grit “make me an augment.”

you don’t regret the words, but man, dani is going to kill you if you both survive this.

* * *

_“prepare sedation please.”_

you hear words, voices disconnected from bodies you cannot see. you don’t feel anything at all, which you suspect is a good thing because your last coherent memory was blurred by pain. 

_“administer sedation.”_ comes the voice again _ “and prepare for primary incision along right forearm for grafting.”_

the words drift over you, like the wind along an open plain. 

you’re sure they mean something; you just can’t figure out what.

* * *

you’re floating, the world around you is bright and clear and boundless. 

soft words curl along, catching your attention 

_“-hate waiting. but the doctors have said that’s all we can do. i hate that you did this. i mean, i know why you did it. but grace,”_ and there’s something about the way this person says your name, 

something that warms you, something that pulls you away from the endless open skies. 

_“i’ll be here, grace. as much as i can.”_

those words are a comfort, even as you drift away again.

* * *

upon waking properly, you regret every decision you ever made about volunteering to become an augment. nothing feels like it should and you’re in some sort of glass-walled room. 

a fish in a fishtank. 

you hate it immediately. 

instead of concentrating on the sheer number of people outside the room, you take a breath and try to focus on what you see inside the space. 

the bed you’re on. medical equipment. a chair. dani. 

dani. 

you look over at her, and of the people inside the room you find that she is the only one not shirking back, shrinking away from you “grace.” she says clearly. 

her frame is highlighted in red, and then her name appears next to her in white letters. 

**commander danielle ramos**

you blink. 

that’s fucking weird. 

“dani?” you speak, but your words sound strange “am i dead?” 

it’s not the question you want to ask, but also you just need to be sure. 

“no,” she says and a smile tugs at the corners of her lips “you’re not dead.” she says. 

“why are you glowing?” you ask next. 

someone else steps forward, a doctor you vaguely recognise “grace,” she says “i may be able to explain.” 

you glance over at her. she glows blue. 

**doctor leslie thompson. **

you blink “is everyone’s name gonna pop up by them?” you ask before she even has a chance to speak “because that is going to get annoying real quick.” 

“well,” doctor thompson says “your system is still calibrating.” she pauses and then “how do you feel?” 

“like shit.” you say, the excitement of being awake is slowly being replaced by a growing pain “i’ve got a headache for one, not to mention i feel like i’ve been hit by a bus.” 

“the headache should fade.” doctor thompson says “like i said, your system is still calibrating. it’s catching up with the work that’s been done since you were injured.” 

“how long ago was that?” 

“six weeks.” 

you choke and look over at dani “six weeks?” 

she nods. 

that explains why she looks exhausted. 

you lean back against the pillows and survey the room. there are five people, not including dani. one by one, names start appearing and you’re suddenly being confronted with more data than you know what to do with. you have names, age, present heart rates. you close your eyes “woah, woah, woah.” you say “just how much information can i get about a person?” you ask, speaking in the general vicinity of where you can hear doctor thompson. 

“what are you seeing now?” 

daring to open your eyes, you start reciting what you see - “that it’s trainee clover grant’s first day, she’s twenty-one and her heart rate is sitting pretty at one forty. next to her is nurse james mason. he’s been here for three years. he’s twenty-seven and his heart rate is one twelve.” you look over at the doctor “i can keep going.” you say “but this is a lot of information i don’t really need.” you say “can i make it go away.” 

and as you say that, 

the data is gone. 

“oh.” you say “nevermind. figured that out.” 

“you need to take it easy.” doctor thompson says “you’ve been through extensive operations, and while we kept you sedated for two weeks, your body and mind are going to need to catch up with each other.” 

“oh believe me,” you say “i don’t plan on going anywhere. but is there any way that i could be less like some sort of fish?” 

“i’m sorry?” 

“fish, in a fishbowl. i feel like everyone out there is waiting for me to like, i don’t know get up and kick immediate ass. but i really just need to pee.” 

behind the doctor, you can see dani roll her eyes. 

/what?/ you shrug. 

doctor thompson nods at once “of course,” she says “we will give you some privacy. i’ll come back in half an hour and explain a bit more fully about what the process will be like from here.” 

“sure thing.” you say. 

“and i would like james to assist you in getting to the bathroom.” 

you raise an eyebrow “pretty sure i can make it on my own.” 

“as i said, you’ve been through extensive surgery and as a precaution – “ 

“i’ll help her.” dani cuts in smoothly. 

“of course, commander.” doctor thompson agrees “don’t hesitate to summon the nursing staff if you need assistance.” she adds, pressing a button on her way out that turns the glass walls opaque. 

you exhale, waiting for the door to close behind the last nurse before you speak “thank you.” you say, in dani’s direction. 

she is silent for long seconds. 

you look away, look down at the blankets across your body, at your hands tangled in your lap “are you mad at me?” you ask finally, when you find the courage to look up and over at dani again. 

her eyes are bright with tears, which alarms you. something flashes across your vision, some sort of scan for injuries that are not present. you blink it away as dani steps forward “i was.” she says “when i found out that you had volunteered,” she continues “i was mad. but,” she exhales “it’s been six weeks. you nearly died three times. i’m just glad you’re alive.” she bring her hand to yours. 

you take it, lacing your fingers with hers “i,” you start, stop “i’m not sorry i volunteered.” you settle on. 

“i know you’re not.” dani says “i wouldn’t expect you to be.” 

“i just want to be able to protect you.” you say “you know? i, the resistance is great, and it’s your baby. but my priority is you. it’s always been you. and anyway,” you add “i’m pretty sure i can finally see your file now.” 

dani raises an eyebrow. 

you look over at her, and all that pops up is 

** classified**

you frown “you’re classified.” 

dani laughs “i don’t know what you expected.” 

“can’t you get me special clearance. there can’t be anything in there that i don’t already know.” 

“not my department.” 

you blink at her “literally everything is your department.” you say “you’re the commander.” 

“you want me to go sort that out right now?” dani says “i thought you had to urgently pee or something?” she looks over at you “or was that just a line?” 

“i didn’t like all those eyes on me. they’re probably spent the better part of six weeks looking at all my insides and fuck knows what else. so shoot me i want some privacy and time with my girlfriend.” you shrug. 

dani squeezes your hand “i’m here.” she says, and something about her tone triggers a memory. 

“i heard you.” you say softly, voice full of muted wonder at the connection “when i was knocked out. i heard you talking to me. i didn’t know it was you, but you were saying that you hated i did this,” dani looks down, looks away from you “and that you would be with me, as much as you could.” 

“i was so pissed at you.” dani admits softly “when they told me that you’d volunteered. but by then,” she swallows hard “by then the surgeries had already started, and it was too late for them to stop. not that they would have,” she says “even if i’d ordered them to, you had volunteered.” 

“i did it to protect you.” you say, voice just as soft “they’ve got rev nines deploying now. we’re going to take massive losses to them and,” you shake you heard, words failing. 

“i know.” dani says “i’m not mad at you, not anymore.” 

“can you stay?” you ask “for a while? i may actually need to pee soon.” 

dani laughs, light and wonderful “yeah,” she says “yeah, i can stay. trevor is running things today.”

* * *

a few hours later, after you’ve persuaded dani to go get something to eat, and you’ve drifted through something akin to sleep, you wake up to a darkened room, headache gone. moving slowly, you shift so that you’re sitting on the edge of your bed and running a finger along the scar that runs down your thigh. the sensation is strange, you can feel the implanted, flexible metal beneath your skin. 

it’s not only the only augmentation you’ve been given. whatever they’ve done with your eyesight, having few stimuli in the room makes it easier to examine the true extent of your visual upgrades. you can see the blueprints of the compound, including a red flashing dot that signifies where you are, that one is pretty cool. also you can do some sort of self-scan, where you get a list of your own upgrades and enhancements. 

it’s in the middle of reading this list that you find yourself interrupted by a knock on the door. 

you glance towards it, 

**doctor thompson ** appears in the air. 

“come on in.” you say easily. 

this time, as the door opens, there is no army of trainees and nurses with her, just the doctor “how are you feeling?” she asks. 

“fine.” you say, and too her skeptical glance you add “really, i don’t know how other augments have felt following waking up, but i feel really good. ready to,” you shrug “i don’t know, do something other than lay in bed.” 

doctor thompson nods “that’s good news. really good news. now as i mentioned before, i’d like to give you the game plan as to what we would like to do going forward.” 

“sure,” you say “shoot.”

“the highest priority is testing your capabilities. we’re rather eager to start this process because, and i’ll be frank, you’re the first augment to survive the process thus far, with seemingly all your faculties intact. ” 

oh. 

you blink. it’s not like it wasn’t a well-known fact that the augment program was still a fledgeling. sure, the survival rate wasn’t exactly being talked about but the fact that people survived only to,

what, 

become more machine than human? it’s a possibility that you had never even considered .

“cool.” you say “i guess.” you add, looking over at the doctor.

“we would like to start the testing now.” the doctor says “considering that sleep should be somewhat less of a priority for you, given that you’re running on a power source.” 

“a what now?” 

“a power source, a battery.” 

“what, like i’ve got some triple a batteries somewhere?” you look down at yourself. 

“not exactly,” doctor thompson says “it’s adapted from the early models of the terminators. their power sources were durable and longer-lasting than the human heart.” seeing your alarm, she continues quickly “you still have a heart, of course, you still have a heartbeat and a blood supply. it’s just that your more enhanced features are also running on the implanted power source, as well as your bodies natural energy.” 

“and that power source means that i should need to sleep less?” you ask. 

“yes,” doctor thompson says “with it supplementing your functions, you should be able to be awake longer than a normal human, with no ill effects.” 

“really?” you press, skeptical. 

“that’s the theory.” 

“ah,” you say “theory. good. cool. fine,” you sigh “do you want me to wear this terrible gown thing or am i allowed real clothing for these tests.” 

“we’ll get you some appropriate clothing.” doctor thompson says easily “and then we’ll proceed with the testing.”

* * *

you walk into the test room and immediately feel like a fish in a fishbowl again. 

not your favourite. 

things are only made better by the unexpected appearance of dani amongst the observers. she’s behind the glass of the observation room, a fact that you don’t miss and don’t particularly enjoy. it speaks to the level of uncertainty the whole host of scientists and doctors have surrounding exactly what you’re capable of. 

“so what, do you have a maze you want me to try a solve?” you ask, looking over at doctor thompson and her cohorts expectantly. 

one by one a collection of names start appearing by their heads and your disappointed that their all medical staff. you clock the weapons their holding, and the body armour they’re wearing. you’re not sure what they expect you to do, but their overpreparation is unnerving. 

“no, we’re going to start with running on the treadmill.” 

“because that definitely doesn’t make me feel more like a lab rat.” you say dryly. 

“you volunteered for this.” doctor thompson says. 

“i know, i know.” you say, walking over to the treadmill “can i at least have some music?” 

the doctor shakes her head “unfortunately we need test conditions.” you wander over to the treadmill, trainee clover grant following a few steps behind “now,” doctor thompson says “the treadmill has been preprogrammed, so all you need to do is keep up for as long as you can.” 

running has never been your favourite activity. 

nevertheless, you hop on the treadmill, glad that there’s a blank wall ahead of you and not the observation room. 

trainee grant presses the start button and underneath your feet, the belt starts moving. soon, the only sounds in the room are your footfalls as the treadmills pace slowly increases. you’re aware of the notes being taken on your heart rate, your oxygen levels and other numbers that you don’t know. you can hear the soft murmur of conversation through the glass as observers make note about your form. 

you resist the urge to flip them off. 

as the speed of the treadmill increases, your body adjusts accordingly. you can feel that you’re moving faster, but there’s a lack of physical exertion that you would associate with such a pace. there’s none of the familiar burn in your legs or lungs. your mind is clear and shockingly, 

you’re almost bored, which is a nice surprise. 

finally, after what you think has been ten minutes, you’re at an all-out sprint. or maybe it’s faster than a sprint. you’re sure that you’ve never run this fast, yet – 

there’s movement out of the corner of your eye and a flash of bright yellow comes your way. before you can even register what the item is, your hand is coming up to catch it. you process the rough texture of the tennis ball for only a second before a second and a third are launched your way. instead of catching them, you drop to a squat and ride the movement of the treadmill back until you’re standing on solid ground. 

the tennis balls bounce away from you. 

you look at doctor thompson “that’s your test? can she catch a bright tennis ball while running?” 

“it was to examine your reflexes.” 

you hold up the tennis ball “clearly they’re fine. and i’m not even sweating.” you say “can we move on to something else?” 

doctor thompson nods “we would like to see how you fare in combat against multiple enemies.” 

you brighten “sounds good.” you say “hand-to-hand?” 

“if you can restrain yourself enough to not break their bones.” 

“sure thing.” you say, watching as a door opens and “oh shit,” you say as boxer, mcnally and pews file into the room. it’s the first time you’ve seen anyone from your unit since dragging dani back to safety “nice of you to let us catch up.” you say in the doctors general direction. 

“we selected them because they are most likely to be familiar with your fighting style and stand the best chance as providing a suitable challenge.” doctor thompson replies, she sounds exasperated. 

you look over at the trio “did you volunteer for this?” you ask “i bet you jumped at the chance to kick my ass.” 

boxer grins “glad to see you still have a sense of humor.” she says “it’s good to see you alive.” she adds. 

“you too.” you say, a quick injury-check showing healing scars on pews and boxer from the firefight. 

the trio surrounds you in a triangle formation and what happens next feels almost beyond your control. you’re aware of their presence, aware of where they’re standing and when they’re about to move. yet, when before you would have had to take precious milliseconds to think, 

now you just act. you’re sliding out of the way, landing a glancing blow to mcnally’s ribs and shoving her into pews. it’s boxer who takes the offensive, following your path and – 

she’s carrying a baton. 

you don’t have time to argue, instead reaching up and grabbing the weapon, stopping it from landing a blow. you twist boxer’s wrist, forcing her to drop the weapon at the same time that you’re aware of pews stepping forward to try and land a blow. it seems, suddenly, that they all have batons. unfair, possibly. 

before the baton that was boxers hits the ground, you catch it, using the chance to swing a leg out and knock boxer off her feet and sprawling onto her back. 

you have no time to take pleasure in the victory because you’re having to roll away from mcnally, who’s appeared from nowhere and gotten an arm around your neck. the roll doesn’t shake her and instead, you reach back with a hand and grab the back of her shirt and use the hold to flip her over your head. it’s a move that would have taxed you before, but now takes as much effort as snapping a twig. she lands, hard and you’re shifting away, aware that boxer is back on her feet and pews is coming in for an attack. 

the fight goes on for another, tense minute until something changes. 

you’re gasping for breath; your vision is blurring. blows that you would have landed easily are suddenly sluggish. you feel as if you’re on fire. in front of you, pews leans forward “hey, grace, hey” she’s saying “you okay?” 

“keep going!” shouts doctor thompson “keep pushing her.” 

you stumble backwards, trying to gasp for air that doesn’t seem to want to come. a hand grabs yours, and it’s boxer. she’s keeping you from falling backwards “she’s not okay.” boxer says “somethings wrong.” 

you nod “overheating.” you say, but the word is slurred. 

boxer’s wrapping an arm under your arms, holding you up “do something.” she prompts the observes. 

“we need to see what’s going to happen.” the doctor says “we need to document it.” 

you shake your head “fuck that.” you slur, gripping at boxer with one hand and wavering grip “i don’t feel right.” 

it’s the last thing you say before you blackout, slumping fully into boxer’s arms.

* * *

you wake up in a hospital room. 

it’s dark and there’s the soft murmur of angry voices coming from somewhere close by. not in the immediate space you’re in, but outside in the hallway. you pin dani’s voice immediately and her anger kickstarts your system into alertness. 

_“-you did was unacceptable. it was clear that the threshold had been crossed, and the fact that you had the medication so readily available-”_

she sounds angry. perhaps angrier than you’ve heard her in a long time. 

_“i say this with the utmost respect commander, but perhaps your opinion is clouded based on your relationship with-“_ that’s doctor thompson chiming in, digging herself into a deeper pit from the sounds of it. 

dani’s voice turns icy _ “you know as well as i do that despite my relationship with grace, the line you crossed would have been there regardless of the person you were testing. you let her suffer unduly, purely for the purposes of observation. that’s unacceptable. it will not happen again, am i clear?”_

you let the conversation drift away from you as you make an attempt to get out of bed. you feel better, less like you were about to overheat and explode, which is an improvement. you walk across the cool tile floor of the hospital room silently, pulling open the door and inserting yourself directly into the conversation. 

“grace,” dani breathes, her relief obvious, her fingers skating along the line of your wrist for half a second. 

“that’s me.” you nod, then you look over at the doctor “want to tell me what the hell happened in there?” 

“well,” doctor thompson says “as i was explaining to the commander, the design of the augments is still in the relatively early stages. right now our priority is developing a weapon that could fight the rev nines and future iterations of the terminators. we have learned time and time again, that if you do not defeat a rev in the early stages, you will be killed. as such, our designs have come to match that line of thinking.” 

you blink “what are you saying?” you ask because as far as you’re concerned that sounds like a load of science talk for nothing. 

the doctor takes a breath and then continues “your design only works because of the incredibly high metabolism you’ve been given. however, as of yet we are unable to find a way to sustain that metabolism without the aid of a medication cocktail. what you experienced in the training room, was a crash. your metabolism was using energy faster than you could provide.” 

you frown, unsure how that design makes sense to anyone – but you’re not an engineer. you glance over at dani, who seems to have calmed considerably since you emerged from the hospital room. her face reads similar to what your own must look like – disbelief that the design structure was so short-sighted. yet now is not the time for an argument so instead, you focus on what apparently solved your problems and ask “what medication did you give me?” 

“it’s an extensive cocktail.” doctor thompson says, “i will get you a copy of the components for your own records.” 

“thanks.” you grunt “how often will this happen?” 

“any time you push your system to its limits.” the doctor explains “it’s a flaw in the design we are attempting to work through. right now our research into that area is slow.” 

“great.” you sigh “good thing i wasn’t designed to go into situations that push me to my limits or anything.” you roll your eyes, and then look back over at the doctor, “do you need me to be in that hospital bed? or can i go back to my bunk for a while?” 

“it would be preferred if you stayed here-“ doctor thompson starts. 

“so you can keep an eye on me?” you press “so you can watch me from your observation window? i know that i’m now your special project or whatever, but i’m still human. i still need privacy and, honestly, a shower.” 

the doctor relents “fine.” she says “i will contact you in the morning about more tests and continued training.” 

“can’t wait.” you reply dryly.

* * *

you go back to dani’s bunk, more for the privacy than anything else. it’s only when the door is closed and locked behind you that dani lets out a long breath and sinks down to sit on the edge of her bed. there’s a tension in her shoulders that doesn’t quite dissipate with her exhalation. she’s worrying her bottom lip and studying you silently. her eyebrows furrowed. it’s as if she expects you to keel over again. 

you cross the space between and slip into space next to her on the bed “hey,” you say softly, your hand coming to cover one of dani’s “i’m okay.” you promise “i just overheated. like some old-ass laptop.” 

that makes dani laugh wetly “you scared me.” you says, leaning into you “seeing you collapse.” you can hear the honesty in her words matched by her racing heart. 

you can only imagine what it was like for her, stuck in that observation box watching you stumble and then lose consciousness. you can imagine her fear, her concern. dani works to conceal her emotions when playing the role of commander, but now, when it’s just you and her and nobody else, 

she lets those walls down. 

“i’m okay now.” you promise “and next time i fight, i’ll make sure to have a good stash of those drugs to keep me going.” you say the words as a joke, meant to ease some of the tension in dani’s posture. 

“if anyone else said that, i would be worried.” dani smiles, one finger tracing along the neat scar along your arm “are you in pain?” she asks. 

“no,” you say after a beat “not in pain exactly.” 

“something else?” dani asks, continuing to run her fingers along the scars along your arms. 

you revel in the sensation for a moment, caught by how her fingers feel on your skin, as if you’ve never felt contact like this before in your life. 

yet, you have. 

you have shared quiet moments like with dani like this before, in the tense night before war, in the wake of battle. in the darkness when nightmares of her brothers death overwhelm, or your fathers slaughter echoes in your dreams. in this space, dani is not the commander. she is just dani. she is a survivor of judgement day with scars just like the rest of the army she’s raised. most of all though, in this space, 

she is yours and you are hers. 

you take a breath and finally find the words to describe your mind “it’s like, before this, i didn’t think about the fact that i was a human. but now that i’m an augment, i’m so aware of the pieces of me that aren’t me.” you answer her questions as honestly as you can, but your mind is aware of dani’s touch along your arms, how reverent it is, how soft “i’m me and i’m not; and i don’t know how to balance that. like the doctor sees me as some science project but i’m still me with all my thoughts and feelings and,” you trail off. 

“and?” 

“and i don’t want to lose those parts of me, not to the machine they’ve mixed me with.” 

“you won’t.” dani promises “you’ll probably annoy the hell out of doctor thompson though.” 

that makes you laugh “i think she definitely likes me.” 

“i’m not sure that’s how i would describe it.” dani counters. 

“well,” you sigh “that’s why you’re the commander and i’m just one the masses.” you say “you have all those people skills and i-”

“just don’t give a shit?” dani supplies. 

“i mean listen, you said it. not me.” 

“and i’d say it again.” dani says “i love it about you.” she says “how you just don’t care.” 

you turn to look at her, aware suddenly of how sweaty you are, how sticky and gross and in desperate need of a shower you are. in the same breath though, you’re caught by her eyes. she’s always been able to look right through you, all your bravado. you think it’s because she knew you before, back when survival was almost beyond your grasp. back when you were both kids, but she was already inspiring people, gathering a following, a militia. 

“go shower.” she murmurs, kissing you gently “i’ll get some food. you must be starving.” 

you deepen the kiss, taking this moment to bask in this feeling. dani’s hands come to your jaw, to the back of your head. she holds you close. 

you’ve missed this. 

fuck you’ve missed this. 

six weeks may have passed in the blink of an eye, but not to your body. your body is reacting as if it knows exactly how long it’s been since you’ve got to hold dani or be held by her. 

“go,” she says, pulling back “shower. i’ll be here when you’re done.” 

“you saying i stink?” 

“yeah,” dani laughs “yeah, i am.” 

“you’re so nice to me.” you say, standing and heading for the commanders private bathroom, dani’s laugh bringing your own smile to your lips.

* * *

it’s early the next morning and you’re in the gym testing the limits of your endurance when trevor steel approaches you. there’s a look of deep displeasure on his face and it’s so concerning that for half a heartbeat you’re sure that something unexpected has happened to dani. it’s the first time you’ve seen him since before your augmentation and normally you get along with dani’s second in command like a house on fire. today, however, he’s grim. 

“we need to talk.” is how he greets you. 

you’re off the treadmill in seconds, clocking your total run time as just over five hours without any ill effects in regard to your heightened metabolism. it would be an achievement if you weren’t so concerned with the look on trevor’s face “what’s going on?” you ask almost at once “is dani okay.” 

“she’s fine.” he says, but his jaw is tight “we need to talk, but not here.” 

“lead the way.” you gesture. 

he takes you to his office, a walk during which your pulse starts to race as nervous anticipation sets in. whatever he wants to discuss, you’re sure it can’t be good. when the door finally shuts behind you and he sits down, you’re too antsy to do anything but stand “you’re not going to like this.” he says “and dani is going to hate it.” 

which means dani doesn’t know. 

you can’t imagine anything that could happen wherein trevor would tell you first instead of dani. 

“spill, trevor.” you press “stop being cryptic.” 

he exhales and them “at zero five-hundred this morning we received intelligence of chronal displacement.” 

“time travel?” you ask, the nervous anticipation solidifying into something like dread. 

trevor nods “we were able to piggy-back the signal and figure out the destination time and place.” 

“where?” you ask, without hesitation. 

“the year 2020,” he says “mexico city.” 

“oh fuck.” you say, the gravity of his news sinking in “fuck. they’re going after her, in the past. stop her from becoming who she is now.” 

trevor nods. 

“how can we stop it?” you ask at once. 

“if we act fast enough the chronal displacement will still be present enough that we can send you near enough along the same path that the terminator took.” trevor says “but we have to act soon.” 

you. 

of course it has to be you. 

you’re an augment. 

“how soon is soon?” you ask. 

“half an hour.” 

fuck. that is soon. 

there is no question what you’ll do. there is no hesitation in your heart about the fate that awaits you. time travel is a one-way ticket, so even if the terminator doesn’t kill you, you’ll be stuck in the year 2020. forever. it means leaving dani behind. and boxer and trevor and everyone you’ve come to call your family. 

it also means keeping dani alive. 

“you know i’ll do it.” you say “but i need to tell dani. i’m not just going to leave without saying good-bye.” 

“thirty minutes.” trevor says “and then our window closes.” you’re already turning to leave the room when he speaks again “grace,” he says and you pause, looking at him “if there was anyone else, any other way.” 

“don’t.” you say “i know it has to be me.” 

“there’s something else you should know.” trevor says “your power source, the one they implanted. it can destroy a rev nine.” 

and kill you. 

“okay.” you say, you know what he’s saying without so many words. 

then you’re running. 

you’re running because you are counting down the minutes you have left in this part of the future and you want to spend every single one of them with dani. 

fuck knows how you’re going to explain this to her. 

you arrive outside her door and knock three times, hard. if you weren’t mechanically being kept calm, you would have a racing heart and feel your lungs burning. instead, you’re body is calm but your mind is awash with emotions. even as you hear dani getting out of bed and walking across to the door, it still feels like too much time is passing. 

you’re impatient and it shows. 

“grace?” dani asks “what’s wrong?” 

you swallow hard, stepping into room “something’s happened.” you say “and i have to do something and you’re not going to like it, but this is the only way.” 

dani goes very, very still “you’re scaring me.” she says “what’s happened?” 

you take a steadying breath “trevor has found traces of chronal displacement from the terminators. they’ve traced it to mexico city, 2020.” you pause, gauging dani’s face, watching her connect the dots. 

“they’ve sent a terminator back, to kill me.” 

you nod “we can’t let that happen dani.” you say, taking a step towards her “the world needs you.” 

“what does trevor want to do?” dani asks, almost as if she’s scared of the answer. 

or maybe she already knows. 

“they can ride the chronal displacement back, if they act fast. they can send someone back. send me back.” 

dani shakes her head “grace, no.” she turns away from you. 

“dani, please.” you say, reaching for her hand “dani, you know i have to do this. there’s no one else they can send back. a human won’t survive the process.” 

she shakes her head, breath uneven. 

“dani,” you say softly “dani, look at me please.” you’re near pleading now “i’m doing this. i have to do this, to keep you safe. i don’t want to leave, but,” you voice is thick with emotions “the world needs you.” 

“what about me?” dani asks, tears in her eyes as she turns around “what about what i need?” she asks “i need you.” she says “i need you here, with me. pissing off doctor thompson and playing pranks with trevor. i-“ she pause, shaking her head “i need you.” 

you take a step closer to dani, one hand coming to her waist “i don’t want to leave.” you say “but i volunteered to become an augment to keep you safe. i did it to make sure that i could always protect you.” 

“you can.” dani says “here.” 

you shake your head “someone has to go back. if the terminator kills you in the past this could all collapse.” 

“you don’t know that.” dani argues, tears rolling down her cheeks. 

“but i know that the world needs you.” you say, your own tears falling. 

dani steps away from you, running a hand through her hair “i won’t allow it.” she says. 

you shake your head, stepping towards her “trevor will do it anyway. i’ll go anyway.” you say “you know i have to go back.” 

for long seconds dani is silent and you wonder if she’s about to throw you out or throw a punch. instead she exhales, soft and sad and more defeated than you’ve ever heard her “how long do you have?” she asks. 

“twenty minutes.” you reply. 

a sob wracks her chest “it’s too soon.” she says. 

you step towards her, wrapping dani into your arms “i’m sorry.” you murmur “i’m sorry. i’m sorry. but i have to.” 

dani buries her head in the curve of your neck. you feel her tears sear your skin as they fall from her cheeks. you feel her entire body trembling. 

you hate yourself in this moment, but you hate the terminators more. they’ve done this to you, to the planet. you’ve said goodbye more times than you can count and few hurt more than this one. 

you try not to think of your father, or the can of peaches his death was over. 

you concentrate on dani instead, dani in your arms, crying. you hold her. you hold her and memorise this feeling with every ounce of your modified self. you think of the years you’ve shared with dani. you think of how you’ve watched her grow and become a leader of the people. you think of the private moments, where she wasn’t the commander. where instead she was just dani. just your dani, who grew up in mexico city, has a love for mangoes and watched her brother die protecting her in the riots after judgement day. 

her sobs have softened, her hands still gripping you tight “you won’t be able to come back.” she says. 

“i know.” you reply. 

“you’ll,” she pauses, and then shakes her head “i-i won’t be like i was when i met you.” 

“i know.” you say “we were all different then.” 

“i’ll probably be stubborn.” 

you laugh wetly “probably?” 

she glares at you, but there’s too much sadness in her eyes. 

“i’ll be okay.” you say, even though you both know it’s a lie. 

“you’ll be gone.” dani says “forever. i won’t, you won’t,” she fumbles over her words and steps forward, steps closer into your touch and presses her forehead against your collarbone “i love you.” she says. 

“i love you.” you reply, you press a kiss to the top of her head and try to find the right words to make this moment better. except, there are none. there is nothing you can say that will soothe her pain, or your own. this is a cruel end and both of you hate it. 

“i love you.” she says again, and again. 

you reply each and every time. so dani remembers this moment and can think of it, think of you, when the darkness comes thick and fast to haunt her. 

eventually, terribly, the time comes. 

you look at the clock and realise that you have to leave. that it’s now or never. 

“dani,” you say, voice hoarse “dani, i have to go.” 

“i’m coming with.” she says, and for half a second you think she means into the past “to watch you leave. you’re not, i don’t want you to go through that alone.” 

you don’t argue. can’t. not when you know the process of preparing for time travel involves stripping to nothing and more nerves than you’ve ever wanted to face. 

“i want,” dani says, rocking up onto her toes and kissing you hard, kissing you fiercely “i want to be the last thing you see.” 

so she is.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not sure i am wholly happy with this piece, however after sitting on it for the weekend i've settled on this being the version i am positing here. 
> 
> i wrote this story to connect the dots between the fragments we see in the film of grace volunteering to become an augment and the moment she gets sent back in time. i hope this story does the concept justice. 
> 
> thank you to everyone who has commented on my previous works for this fandom, y'all are the best.


End file.
